Life With MORE Than A Fibula

Did you know I'm missing a fibula? ;)

"Missing" might not be the right word.

In December of 2012, almost two years ago, I was faced with harsh news:

Cancer recurrence. This time, the cancer is in your jaw bone. The fix? Removing all of a fibula, except for the top and bottom 3-4"... so that the ligaments, tendons, etc. wouldn't be messed with.

On December 13, 2012, after finishing my semester finals only the day before, I underwent a 13 hour surgery. In this surgery, the doctors removed the fibula from my left leg, removed 2/3 of my mandible (lower jaw), and replaced the mandible with a portion of my fibula- among other things, which is not an important detail right now.

It sounds painful, and to be honest, it was. For a little bit. Getting out of bed to walk was definitely a hard hill to climb in my stay in the hospital.

My dad, me, and Haymitch the PT

I had given some thought to starting a blog, to getting my story out there, to sharing my experiences with others. In January 2013, a month after this surgery, "Life Without A Fibula" was born. I credit myself to coming up with this fancy, catchy (at least I think so) title. I have kept up with my medical journey over the last few years. I share my experiences of living life without a fibula.

Although I am living life without a fibula, life with only one fibula, I am living with SO much more than that. Let me tell you what I mean.

In a revelation given to Joseph Smith, Jr., the prophet of the restoration of the gospel on the earth in the 1800s, the Lord explains a little something about trials:

And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaw of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. (Doctrine & Covenants 122:7)

What could possibly be good about going through hard things? A man named Orson F. Whitney said:

No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God ... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.

You may not believe what I do. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, often called a "Mormon." I have the faith, belief, and testimony as to why we are here on the earth, and where we are going when this life is over. I believe that we are on this earth to learn and grow.

Earth life can be compared to leaving home for college. Once on our own, we choose for ourselves if we will follow what we know or believe is right. We are not obeying only to please our parents, who are no longer right with us, teaching us the way to go. As we left the presence of our Heavenly Father, we: one, gained a physical body; and two, are given the chance through our agency to obey the word of God.

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Life is more than our deficiencies, our weaknesses, our regrets, our insecurities. It's not about the pain we've felt, but the good we experience. It's not about the hardships in life, but the blessings we see. It's not what we don't have, but what we DO have. 

As stated before, I am living with so much more than just one fibula. Just a few good things I live with are:

An eternal family. I know that families can be together forever. I know that the family is central to God's plan. The gospel is all about families. Being in a family doesn't mean that things are always easy and peaceful, but it does mean that we are growing and learning together. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else for eternity except my family.

The blessings of the temple. The temple is the House of the Lord, and as such, it is a reverent and holy place. I know that I can feel the presence of our Lord in His house. I have the amazing opportunity of serving a mission there, five days a week. One day is out of the grounds, and the other four days I am inside the temple in different areas. I am grateful for the peace that comes from the temple, and the work done there is holy and eternal.
My patriarchal blessing. Everyone, after being baptized a member of the Church, is entitled to a patriarchal blessing. In this blessing (which comes from the Lord, through a patriarch) is for the benefit of the receiver. In this blessing is personal guidance, blessings, and truth directed to you. My patriarchal blessing has been a huge comfort to me as I read and re-read it (yes, the blessing is recorded, transcribed and delivered to you- so you can read it as often as you want).


The atonement of Jesus Christ. I have been taking a class on the Atonement in Institute. The atonement is what makes the difference between our imperfect lives and returning to our Heavenly Father again. The atonement is what enables us, redeems us, and uplifts us. It is through Christ that we are saved, after all we can do. What do we need to do? LET the atonement change our lives.

I may have lost physically, some have it worse. I have gained spiritually, more than I thought I could. The gospel is amazing, in that sense. Because I choose to look at what I have, because of the gospel, because of Jesus Christ, because of the atonement, I am HAPPY. Truly, happy.

Keep running!