Treatment Week 2

Hello!

Let me finish feeling you in on the rest of how week one was.

I felt really bloated, so in turn gassy, Wednesday and Thursday of last week. As far as nausea, Thursday was probably the worst of it.

Yes, I did just post about my gas on the internet.

From Friday on, I felt almost normal. I went to the temple with Mom on Friday. It was so nice to get there! I saw a lot of familiar faces. :) I went to see Big Hero 6 that night, and the weekend went really well.

Monday was fine. Nothing really out of the ordinary. My chemo went fine. I did feel a little nauseous during the infusion- but more of a headache nausea than stomach nausea. Does that make sense?

Brooke brought Easton to visit, and then later brought Camden. It was fun and brought a little variety to everything going on.

I have honestly felt really good this week. Thursday (two days ago) was a doozy. I didn't feel too great that day, and just watched movies all day. Besides Thursday though, I have felt pretty good for the majority of this week. How great, right?

Today's a busy day. My brother-in-law is running at the college Cross Country National Championships, we are having a man-party during my sister-in-law's baby shower, and I'm going to go down to the temple tonight. Woo!

Keep running.

Social Media

I'm a service missionary.

But that's nothing new to you; well, 99% of you. I started serving as a Church-Service Missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was set apart in July of this year, and soon started my service at the temple.

It's been four months since that time. Four months, almost to the day, that I have been set-apart as a service missionary- July 15th. A service mission is a little different from the two-year and eighteen-month missions you hear about for men and women, respectively. The process of my mission started with my Bishop. From there, I met with my Stake President. My Stake President was ultimately in charge of my mission call, deciding and working out where I'd serve; a full-time mission call comes from Church Headquarters, assigned by inspiration from one of "the Brethren" (A member of the First Presidency or Quorum of the Twelve Apostles), who receive that inspiration from our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.
**And just for the record, my call is no less than a mission. It is inspired as well. My mission may be a little different, but it's still service.**

While preparing for my mission, I met with my stake president a number of times. One of those visits, we discussed that we'd like to make my mission as much of a "mission" as possible; in association with dating, movies, music, television, etc.

At first, I was hard on myself. I wanted to be a missionary, I wanted to serve, and I thought being pretty strict on my association with media would help me like I'd hope. It took me less than a week to realize how much of a challenge that was; working at the temple half-days, living at home with my family, and being in a YSA ward. With help from my parents, and from my Stake President, I have defined some rules for myself to be a missionary and to not drive myself crazy.

I put out my last post on both Twitter and Instagram, and decided I'd still be on Facebook, and post uplifting things. I came up with a system: my nephew, Camden, is three-years-old. If he could watch a certain movie, I could too. So in essence, wiped out the possibility of watching those "grown-up" movies and TV shows. I stand by the "Camden-appropriate" method. It was a good idea for a missionary wanting to live the best way, without being a full-time missionary in a new area, being with a companion and strictly focusing on the gospel- which is nowhere near a bad thing!

I've finally come to terms. I can't be a missionary like we always think of. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not being disobedient and I'm really grateful that lately, I've been able to rely on the Spirit, and see the guidance from our Heavenly Father. My mission is specifically designed for me, and I feel like a big part of the missionary work I've done in my lifetime has been through social media- mainly this blog and Facebook.

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I was blog-hopping one day; I found a friend's sister's friend's blog. I don't know the writer of this blog, but I bookmarked the post because I found it perfectly in line with my thoughts today. The link can be found here.

My intentions were to stay off of Twitter and Instagram. You wouldn't see any posts from me for a year, the duration of my mission. I'd just get on Facebook to post uplifting things. But I'll admit, that's where I've fallen short. I browse my News Feed. I try to limit myself on Facebook. It's something I'm working on. I've been thinking about getting back on Instagram again for a while- with the same intentions as Facebook- post good things and don't stay on very long. While the big challenge is to limit my time, I finally decided improve my social media exposure- not to browse those sites, but to share goodness, using the internet for good while staying away from the bad. (Read something cool about sharing goodness here)

One reason I decided to start sharing goodness was because of the recent
news of my cancer treatments, I thought it would be good to express the
good I've found from the treatments. But that was not my main purpose.

There is a lot of bad out there. But there is also a lot of good. Satan wins that much more every time someone decides not to act for good. I am fighting against the adversary; I am fighting for the Lord; I am sharing goodness.

Join with me to share the good you see around you. If you are not religious, share something of good, with the intent to make the world a better place. It doesn't have to be with social media, it can be with anything. Do a service for someone. Improve a life. Maybe even your own.

As always,

#keeprunning

#sharegoodness

Treatment Week 1

Well, the time has come.

I had my first chemo treatment yesterday. It went well, I feel like. As well as it can go?

My schedule on Mondays is this:

8:30 am LABS

9:00 am RADIATION

9:30 am CHEMO

There was a power outage on Saturday, so the radiation machine took a little bit longer to power up. I didn't get back to radiation til about 9:30ish. I came back, and we started my IV meds.

First, I got a small IV of steroids, to help with nausea.
Next, I got anti-nausea (Zofran), to help with nausea.
:)
After that, a bag of fluids- hydration.
Then the chemo, Cisplatin.
After that baby was done, another bag of fluids.

I named my IV pole Gladys. She and I are going to have weekly dates, every Monday. ;) No one get jealous, now.

Because the Cisplatin processes a lot in the kidneys, I was given so much fluids. And it worked, because I went to the bathroom SIX times there, between 9:00 am and 2:00 pm.

So far, I haven't felt too shabby. I've felt a tiny, tiny bit of nausea, but nothing too bad at all. I can already feel that my throat is a little sore.

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It hasn't really sunk in that I'm not down at the temple, because today is usually my P-day, and yesterday I was supposed to be on the grounds. I'm sure it's really going to sink in later this week. It sucks, yes, but I'm glad that we are taking proactive measures to kick this cancer in the butt. FOR GOOD.

Bring it on, Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma, bring it on.

Keep running.

The Suckiest Suck That Ever Sucked

I haven't really updated on my health in a little while. So let's get right down to it, shall we?

I had a surgery back in September up at the Huntsman. The surgery went quick, well, and I had a fast recovery. BUT a few weeks later, after a check-up, we were told that there is still a positive margin for the cancer, meaning that it's still there.

We talked with the Huntsman, and we talked with the doctors here at the Cancer Center here in Cedar. After much prayer and decisions, I felt that Cedar was the best option and the best way to go, especially with the plan they had set up.

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So here's the real kick... I'm starting chemo and radiation treatments THIS Monday, Nov 10th. Yep. Treatments will last six weeks. Radiation five times a week (30 total treatments), with chemo once a week (6 total treatments). The chemo will in essence aid the radiation, and with both treatments together, the hope is good for success. I had been told before that chemo is not very successful with my type of cancer. However, it's purpose is to help the radiation. It can be compared to washing a pot... either scrubbing it, or letting it soak in water and soap, and then scrubbing it. Both treatments will be stronger together.

Radiation: Last time, the radiation covered basically from ear to ear on my neck. This time it will be more localized. It's at the same facility that I had it before, at the Cancer Center in Cedar City. I'm blessed to have an old scout leader and friend as the radiation therapist, so I'll get to see him every day (except I wish I saw him in a different place!)

Chemo: Chemo will start on Monday, and be administered once a week, every Monday, through an IV. I'll have some "before and after" IV's as well, and total it will take about four to five hours. The technical name of the chemo is Cisplatin. It's a lower dose, so I won't be feeling AS crappy as you might think when you hear the word chemo. One of our nurses, Cheryl, explained that I will be probably have some nausea, slight hair loss, and some throat pain. The biggest thing I can do is stay hydrated and keep my weight where it's at.

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I thought I couldn't be radiated again? I thought so, too. It's been almost five years since I've had radiation- February and March of 2010. The question of why that changed... I don't know. I just know that the doctors are planning to be really careful of my voice box, mandible (jaw bone), and the risks that come from 2nd time radiation.

What does this mean for my mission? To feel the full effects from the radiation will take about two weeks. For the chemo, probably less than a week. After last time's radiation, I know I need to take at least some time off from my mission at the temple. If it was just the radiation I was receiving, I would go for maybe two more weeks. For the sake of less worrying, full concentration on my health, and just in case I start to feel really crappy and I'm stuck down in St George, along with some prayer and talking with doctors and my priesthood leaders, I've decided it to be best if I am done at the temple after this week. I'll go into my treatments fully focused on letting my body heal. It's hard. It was a hard choice. I want to stay at the temple, but I feel peace about how everything is set up. I'm still set-apart as a "service missionary." It's upsetting because I have wanted to serve for a while, get to, and now this. Let's be honest. Cancer sucks. Once all the treatments are over, and I'm feeling back to normal, I'll go back to the temple.

What about Immune system? Blood counts? As you may or may not know, chemo kills off the fast growing cells, cancer cells, blood cells, the lot. Every person is different, so my blood levels will be monitored every week, and if my levels are too low, the doc will probably postpone a treatment. We'll kind of see how we go on this one. Cheryl recommended that we make sure bathrooms and the kitchen are clean here at the house, and to stay away from places that have a lot of germs, like a buffet. Crowds I could handle, meaning that I'll still be able to go to church, but if my levels start to drop, I'll be pulling away from crowds more.

Can I have visitors? By all means, YES. PLEASE come hang out with me. Come visit. :) The only requirement is that one, I am feeling okay; and two, you are healthy. Be up for washing your hands or a little Germ-X here. If you've had a vaccine in the last two weeks, wait a little while to come. You can stop by, or shoot me a text, or call the house. And if you want/need any of those numbers, I'll let you decide how to reach me for them.

Just a word of warning... Do not give me the puppy dog eyes, or I'll hurt you. Ha ha. I know it sucks that I have to go through this. Trust me. And you can talk to me about that kind of stuff if you want. Don't be afraid to keep any questions or anything from me. Nothing's taboo to talk about, but don't you dare say, "Erik, I'm so so SO sorry that you have to go through this." Got it? Good. 

Spiritual-wise, emotional-wise, I'm doing good. I've felt peace at doctors appointments. I've even humored the doctors and nurses. I know that the Lord has his hand in this, and that I'm going to be okay. I know that blessings will come out of this, sometime or another. I know that the trials I seem to be having on a continual basis will ultimately make me a better person. That's what we all want, right? I've got an amazing support system of family, friends, ward family, and even some now temple family!

I am not perfect. No one on this earth is. And I know that I'll have my bad days. The reality of it all kind of hit me last night, this is what I'm facing. Even though I am still happy, it doesn't mean that I won't be down at times. I have been down a few times already. In fact, I think this is the suckiest suck that ever sucked.

It's because of the ups- in spite of the downs- that I choose to fight; I know that life is a gift, our Heavenly Father is in charge, and that we are not given any trial or test we can't handle. Faith in Jesus Christ and His gospel- no matter how hard or trying- will make it worth it in the end.



I was introduced to this song a couple months ago, and it has such a good message. Especially when hard times hit.

 

Keep running.

Life With MORE Than A Fibula

Did you know I'm missing a fibula? ;)

"Missing" might not be the right word.

In December of 2012, almost two years ago, I was faced with harsh news:

Cancer recurrence. This time, the cancer is in your jaw bone. The fix? Removing all of a fibula, except for the top and bottom 3-4"... so that the ligaments, tendons, etc. wouldn't be messed with.

On December 13, 2012, after finishing my semester finals only the day before, I underwent a 13 hour surgery. In this surgery, the doctors removed the fibula from my left leg, removed 2/3 of my mandible (lower jaw), and replaced the mandible with a portion of my fibula- among other things, which is not an important detail right now.

It sounds painful, and to be honest, it was. For a little bit. Getting out of bed to walk was definitely a hard hill to climb in my stay in the hospital.

My dad, me, and Haymitch the PT

I had given some thought to starting a blog, to getting my story out there, to sharing my experiences with others. In January 2013, a month after this surgery, "Life Without A Fibula" was born. I credit myself to coming up with this fancy, catchy (at least I think so) title. I have kept up with my medical journey over the last few years. I share my experiences of living life without a fibula.

Although I am living life without a fibula, life with only one fibula, I am living with SO much more than that. Let me tell you what I mean.

In a revelation given to Joseph Smith, Jr., the prophet of the restoration of the gospel on the earth in the 1800s, the Lord explains a little something about trials:

And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaw of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. (Doctrine & Covenants 122:7)

What could possibly be good about going through hard things? A man named Orson F. Whitney said:

No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God ... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.

You may not believe what I do. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, often called a "Mormon." I have the faith, belief, and testimony as to why we are here on the earth, and where we are going when this life is over. I believe that we are on this earth to learn and grow.

Earth life can be compared to leaving home for college. Once on our own, we choose for ourselves if we will follow what we know or believe is right. We are not obeying only to please our parents, who are no longer right with us, teaching us the way to go. As we left the presence of our Heavenly Father, we: one, gained a physical body; and two, are given the chance through our agency to obey the word of God.

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Life is more than our deficiencies, our weaknesses, our regrets, our insecurities. It's not about the pain we've felt, but the good we experience. It's not about the hardships in life, but the blessings we see. It's not what we don't have, but what we DO have. 

As stated before, I am living with so much more than just one fibula. Just a few good things I live with are:

An eternal family. I know that families can be together forever. I know that the family is central to God's plan. The gospel is all about families. Being in a family doesn't mean that things are always easy and peaceful, but it does mean that we are growing and learning together. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else for eternity except my family.

The blessings of the temple. The temple is the House of the Lord, and as such, it is a reverent and holy place. I know that I can feel the presence of our Lord in His house. I have the amazing opportunity of serving a mission there, five days a week. One day is out of the grounds, and the other four days I am inside the temple in different areas. I am grateful for the peace that comes from the temple, and the work done there is holy and eternal.
My patriarchal blessing. Everyone, after being baptized a member of the Church, is entitled to a patriarchal blessing. In this blessing (which comes from the Lord, through a patriarch) is for the benefit of the receiver. In this blessing is personal guidance, blessings, and truth directed to you. My patriarchal blessing has been a huge comfort to me as I read and re-read it (yes, the blessing is recorded, transcribed and delivered to you- so you can read it as often as you want).


The atonement of Jesus Christ. I have been taking a class on the Atonement in Institute. The atonement is what makes the difference between our imperfect lives and returning to our Heavenly Father again. The atonement is what enables us, redeems us, and uplifts us. It is through Christ that we are saved, after all we can do. What do we need to do? LET the atonement change our lives.

I may have lost physically, some have it worse. I have gained spiritually, more than I thought I could. The gospel is amazing, in that sense. Because I choose to look at what I have, because of the gospel, because of Jesus Christ, because of the atonement, I am HAPPY. Truly, happy.

Keep running!