Merry Christmas & Happy New Year From the Fibu-less Writer of This Blog!

Merry Christmas!! How was yours?

With the biggest holiday of the year passed and a new year coming, I can honestly say that 2013 has been one of the biggest surprise years ever. Mostly everything that has happened was not part of "the plan" I had come up with when I graduated.

I was sure that I would go to a year of school at SUU, stay at DQ, continue to have a clean bill of health and to be cancer free, send in my papers for a mission and leave to serve. I was sure that although I had faced quite a bit, that was behind me and I was out of the woods. I was ready to be considered "normal" again and to not be the "guy with cancer" who fought it during his teen years in high school but then fully recovered, served a mission, and nonetheless was "normal."

But like all plans, it all changed. I had more extensive surgeries. I was back to fighting cancer again. I had to put the mission on hold and re-think what I wanted to do and how I should serve the Lord. My job would be too hard to continue with the condition my mouth was in, even after recovery. I found an easier, less crazy- so to speak- job. I changed my schooling timeline and prepared to stick around til after spring semester. I had to put the mission papers I would start in two months on hold.

To summarize, in 2013 I:

• Had more surgeries on my neck
• Deal every day with less teeth and a partially numb tongue
• Watched 90% of my friends leave on missions with no knowledge of when I'd be heading out
• Started a blog, writing on average, every week or two weeks, and have pageviews from places like Russia and the United Arab Emirates
• Took the spring semester off
• Left DQ
• Started a job at the hotels
• Became an uncle to another nephew
• Moved out into an apartment
• Continued on with SUU for another school year
• Changed my major about six times
• Went on a spontaneous family trip to California
• Postponed the mission
• Really thought about what I want to do with my life

It's okay that I didn't do what I had planned to do. Because that's life. Now does that mean I fall short? No, it just means that although I didn't accomplish what I thought I would have in 2013, I accomplished what my Heavenly Father wanted me to accomplish. I gained a significant amount for my testimony. I gained more knowledge of His plan and His love, and how He is always near me and always watching over. I gained things that I needed but probably wouldn't have been able to gain if 2013 would have been "according to plan." And I'm at peace with that.


So as you contemplate what your goals and ambitions are for 2014, I challenge you to add one thing that is on my list for 2014: I want to have faith enough that if a curveball is thrown my direction, I can react in a good way. If my plans for the future are altered, I want to be able to say, "Heavenly Father, I don't know exactly why, but I know you know why. And that is good enough for me."

If you ask me what the next year will hold, I have a few ideas of what I want the plan to be. But if that doesn't happen, if what I have in mind is completely the opposite of what does happen, I know that Heavenly Father knows what He's doing. I know I can reach the spiritual goals I set because He wants me to reach those goals. And as long as I'm getting better each day, each month, and each year, I'm happy with life and ready for what the future holds.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Keep running.

One Year Ago Today

365 days ago was the biggest surgery of my life.

Today, December 13, 2013 marks one year from this 13-hour, life changing, jaw altering, fibul-less, surgery.

I am STILL in awe at the enormity of it. I had no IDEA this surgery was even possible. Did you? I mean, seriously! How did anyone ever think it was even possible to take out a portion of the fibula, not replace it with anything, put the fibula in place of part of the jawbone, and still have me look normal, talk normal, walk normal, and even run normal?

Sometimes when I think back to everything that happened a year ago, I just want to curl up into a ball. It was hard. Not being able to eat or drinking anything through my mouth for a week on top of a dry mouth, limited neck movement, a feeding tube, that stupid nurse that suctioned out my trach, the trach ITSELF (grrr...), the constant nurse visits, the infection that caused another hospital stay, having an anaphylactic allergic reaction, withdrawing from Spring semester, quitting my job, not being able to lay on my stomach to sleep, and learning how to move my tongue again.

Although it makes me devastated to think about what I've been through, I turn and think of everything good about that surgery and the last year. I spent more time with my parents, had an awesome nurse, stayed at one the best cancer facilities in the world, was in the hands of amazing doctors and staff that I would (and obviously did) trust my life with, gaining a strong testimony of my Savior, Heavenly Father's plan, and the Atonement, celebrating my birthday by eating Winger's... and not in a hospital, taking some time off of school and work, finding out what I want to be when I "grow up", realizing my plan in Heavenly Father's book, getting my patriarchal blessing, having my friends surprise me on my birthday, sharing the gospel, sharing my testimony, improving my life, and getting one step closer to getting rid of this stupid cancer for good.

----

When I think back over the last year, there is bad, but there is good. And a lot more of the good. And although I would never wish what I've been through on my worst enemies, I'm truly truly grateful for the last year. It's totally screwed up the direction I was supposed to be going in, but that's okay. Because the direction I'm headed in now is one I'm proud of. I've grown substantially, both spiritually, emotionally, and physically, in the last year. I'm closer to becoming a person I hope my Heavenly Father is proud of.

The best thing about the gospel is change. Change for the better. Heavenly Father KNOWS just what we need to go through in order to make that change. And it will never be anything we cannot do. I take comfort every day in knowing that I made it through some pretty dark days. I take comfort in knowing that Heavenly Father loves me enough to test what I am capable of, so that if I endure it well, it will be a substantial blessing in my road to Heavenly Father.

What's next, you might ask? Well, I have two words for you. Keep running.

Superstitious?

It's kind of funny how often I've seen the number 13.

• It's 2013

• I live in apartment 13

• We have made 12 (almost 13) trips to the Huntsman this year

• My surgery a month ago was on November 13th

• We found out my cancer had returned 13 months ago

• My surgery last year was on December 13th

I'm not superstitious, but isn't that list strangely weird?



Does this mean I'm unlucky?

No, because it's more about one thing. Can you guess? The gospel.

PS, I totally took this picture.

I know that I am watched over. I know that I am never alone. I know that no matter what I do, no matter what mistakes I make, my Heavenly Father loves me. I know that if I am in a situation in which I really need it, He sends His love and comfort, whether through the presence of the Holy Ghost, angels, or even the people here on Earth I'm surrounded by.

Heavenly Father is the reason. He is why I am still living, breathing, and enjoying a happy life. Jesus Christ is the reason that I have the chance to one day return to Heavenly Father. Luck's got nothing to do with it.

Keep running!

Hold On

It's been a pretty crazy, busy few weeks.

I have a job, and work 25 to 30 hours a week.
I'm taking 15.5 credits.
I have two evening classes.
I have 3 finals tomorrow.
I "try" to make my own meals.
And... I have to plan out time to do LAUNDRY.


Welcome to the life of a college student. And I know some of your are a lot busier, so to that I say... keep on truckin'.


There is one thing to remember in any bad situation, whether it be school, family problems, a job, or just being busy and barely finding time for yourself:

It will get better. It may be hard, but it won't last forever.

 

When I've had a hard time, a hard week, or an extremely busy upcoming weekend, I've had to say: Okay. I just need to make it to Saturday afternoon. Once that hits, it's smooth sailing. And if that's what you have to do to de-stress, more power to you.

Here are some more quotes to remember:

Yes, life is busy. Yes, life sometimes sucks. But it's because of the good times, the positive times, and the times that make me realize how good I really have it that I look forward to and reach for. Hold on to the hope that better days are coming! And never forget it.

Keep running!

Find Some Time

So I taught a lesson about Joseph Smith in Elder's Quorum on Sunday.

And man, what a stud! What stood out to me from his life the most are a few things, but I'll just talk about one today.

He made time for "innocent amusement"- wrestling, playing, having fun. I think it's amazing that a prophet of God isn't just serious all the time. He is a nice, friendly guy. He is just like you and me, whether you are a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or not.

If the prophet of the restoration of the church can find some time for simple happiness and doing fun things, so can I! I don't have to work all the time. I don't have to study all the time. I don't have to try and plan out my future for every moment of every day. Sometimes, I just need to sit back, relax, and do something I love.

Like watching TV.

Okay, maybe not the prime example. :) But you get what I mean. On another note, however smart of a decision, I decided that instead of an instead study/cram session for finals this morning, I would go out to my parents' house to spend some time and play with my nephews during "Grandma Morning." (Yes, totally worth it)


In a world where everything is so busy, I know I could use some time to slow down, to enjoy the moment, and to do something that puts a smile on my face.

For example:

Hangin' out

Running

I think this picture speaks for itself.

And this one. Hint: I love eating.

Being as completely UN-serious as possible.

Talking

Reading my favorite book!

And of course, playing the piano- Just. Like. This.

Until about 12 hours from now: Keep running!

Dental Implants, Phase Two

Well, that next step has come already! I'm one step closer to getting new teeth.

And on just a side note, how about a little cruel irony?
 

Now granted it's my two front BOTTOM teeth.

(Side note: And I hope you aren't feeling bad for me. I think it's funny. And hopefully you do, too. There's no problem with laughing at yourself every once in a while!)

Just about two weeks ago was step two. I don't know if any of you ever saw inside my mouth, but if you did, you would've seen that the skin put in where I have no teeth was pretty big. When I would bite down, the skin would touch the bottom of my teeth.

Step one was putting the posts in and cutting down the tissue a little bit.

Step two? Cutting down the tissue a little more. It was an interesting procedure for a few reasons:

• I was wide awake during the whole thing
• I was aware during the whole thing
• Luckily, I was numbed
• Because my chin has been replaced, the nerve endings are all out of whack. The way Dr Egbert explained it: "Normally, we put in the numbing on one end and the other, and it's good in between; but with your nerves in your chin, we had to numb it a couple of times.

I'm basically just a medical basket case, right? But that's okay. If my situation, however rare, is seen again in someone else, hopefully the way I've been treated can be an aid to them.

If my experiences help just one person, whether emotionally, physically, medically or spiritually; whether it's a procedure the doctor has done, something I have said, or the interactions I've had with someone, then it's made the past four years all worth it.

Keep running!