Perspective

There's a poem that I've heard probably hundreds of times. And even though I've heard it a lot, I never get sick of hearing it! The Huntsman Cancer Institute has little bookmarks of this all around their facility.

Cancer Is So Limited.

 

It cannot destroy love

It cannot shatter hope

It cannot corrode faith

It cannot destroy people

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot suppress memories

It cannot silence courage

It cannot invade the soul

It cannot steal eternal life

It cannot conquer the spirit

 

 

Instead of looking at all the bad things that can happen with cancer, look at the things that can't happen because of cancer. Perspective is pretty important. You change your perspective, and you'll see the world differently. I changed my perspective about cancer, and it suddenly didn't seem as hard anymore.

 

This isn't directed toward anyone, obviously, but isn't it funny?

 

 

 

 

Here are some more serious pictures.

 

 

 

 

In my opinion, changing your perspective can make everything a whole lot better! It's improved my life and helped me through some of the hardest times.

 

A quick example is reading the Book of Mormon. I've mentioned it before. I decided to seriously focus and study it, not just read through. And from the very moment I started it, reading didn't feel like a chore anymore. Now, I look forward to reading it and I sometimes can't put it down. It's made my scripture study a million times better and has strengthened my testimony as well as improve my life.

 

If you already have a great perspective, good job. Next time you see me, ask me for a high five. If you haven't, I HIGHLY recommend that you do it!

 

Until next time, keep running!

What Makes My Life Better

Last Friday was the Relay For Life. And it reinforced one thing for me:

Having cancer is something that I'm going to have to deal with for quite a while, and the effects for probably the rest of my life. I don't mean that I'm going to be sick for a long time. In fact, I don't even plan on it. What I mean is with checkups, scans, and doctors visits, it's always something that I will think of or worry about in the back of my mind.

And you know what? That's kind of a scary thought. But I'm okay with it, because here are some things I know that makes my life better:

• Because of my family, I don't have to face it alone. I have a family, an AMAZING family. No matter what, they are always there, through thick and thin, and whenever I need someone! Throughout the years, no matter where life takes us, I'll always have the support and love of my family.
• Because of my Savior, I don't have to face it alone. I also lean on my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that He suffered for our sins, our sadness, our grief, and every pain we have and will ever feel. So when you say, "No one knows how I feel"... Think again. I never have to face anything alone. Because I am never alone.
• Heavenly Father really does have a plan for me. I know I've said this about a billion times, but I know this to be true. Heavenly Father knows what is in store for me. It may not be what we want, but after it happens, I'll be glad and grateful that it happened.
• Every trial I go through will strengthen and bless me, if I endure it faithfully. I've already seen blessings come about from having cancer. The most I'm most grateful for is that I've had a chance to slow down, take a look at my life and where I want to be, and strengthen my testimony and really get to know my Savior and my Heavenly Father.
• I'm given my trials because I can handle them. We are told that we are not given trials and temptations that we can't handle. (a good scripture to read is this, 1 Cor. 10:13)
• Prayer is a real thing. I honestly love to pray. If you pray faithfully and lovingly, it is just like talking on the phone to your dad. It's a two-way communication, only if you really sincerely pray.
• The scriptures are AMAZING. I've really enjoyed reading, truly reading, and truly loving and enjoying every word out of the Book of Mormon. I get something amazing out of it every time I open it up.
• I am a child of God, and I am loved. I can only imagine how hard it must be to watch the earth and see all the heartache, sadness and pain that Heavenly Father sees us go through. But because He loves us, he wants us to grow and eventually become like Him.
• Miracles still happen. No doubt. I see it all around and even in my life every day.
• Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. This is a quote from the late President Gordon B. Hinckley. In all you do, don't just "get through" today. Make today count.
• Learn from the past. Learn from the things you've done and grow from it.
• Prepare for the future. Don't just hope that everything will fall into place. God helps us after all we can do. Not after we do nothing.
• Live in the present. This is one I sometimes struggle with. Sometimes I take too much time planning ahead, but really I should be enjoying the moment.
• There's no one better than YOU. There is only one Erik Gray. There is only one (insert your name here). Don't try to be someone else. Be you, and that's the best thing you can do for yourself.

I hope you've enjoyed listening, well... reading, through what makes my life better, and that they can help you! And a lot of what makes life better comes from my beliefs as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So PLEASE, don't be afraid to ask me questions (look on the Contact Me page), or to go to LDS.org or Mormon.org.

Keep running!

Who Am I?

 

No.

 

 

Nope. But sometimes I wish I was sarcastically funny like this guy. 

 

 

Kinda. EG. Get it? (My initials)

 

 

Definitely not.

 

 

 

Okay. That's me. But still- who am I?

 

I'm not alone when I say that I've struggled to find out my identity.

I once talked with someone who helped me to realize who I really am. This is roughly how the conversation went:

Him: "How would you describe who you are?"

Me: "Well, I'm a college student at SUU..."

"No, that's just where you go to school right now." 

"OK, well I'm a runner and I love hanging out with my friends..."

"Those are just the things you do."

"I'm the 4th child and son of Dennis and Jolene?"

"That's who your parents are and how you relate to your family."

"Well then, what and who am I?"

 

He helped me realize that all the things I thought I AM are just things that describe what I do, where I live, etc. Yes, they're good things, but the really true thing I am, and have been since the beginning and will be for the rest of the eternity, is a child of God.

 

And that's really comforting. We all know the Primary song, I Am a Child of God, but I know that sometimes I just take those words for granted.

 

I am a child of God,

And he has sent me here,

Has given me an earthly home

With parents kind and dear.

 

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,

Help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do

To live with him someday.

(Hymns no. 301 or Childrens Songbook pg. 2) 

 

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know that why I'm here on earth can be compared to a father sending off his child to college: He sees his son/daughter go off to college. He's not going to be there with him/her, but he hopes that his child will make the right choices and get that degree and return home someday saying, "Dad, I did my best, and look at all that I've accomplished!" or "Dad, it was hard. But I made it." I testify that we are here firstly to gain a physical body, and second, because it's a test to see how we will act and grow spiritually, physically and emotionally without our Father in Heaven close by us.

 

To wrap things up, I want to bring up what the conversation I wrote about earlier... the things that describe us. And it all depends on how you act in those situations or react to what happens/what you do. The things we've been through and the things we're doing. I'm going through cancer, but do I see myself as just a kid with cancer? No. I see myself as a strong individual that is going through a rough patch right now.

 

I heard a quote once that said, "Mistakes from the past don't define you, they refine you." This applies to trials as well. Do I really want to be known by what mistakes I've made? Well, do you? Of course not.

 

I've noticed in my life that doing the things I love help to change my personality. For example, I love reading the Book of Mormon, playing the piano, watching Netflix, and making things on Photoshop. Because of my health trial right now, I'm spending a lot of time at home. But instead of sit around and think of all the "What if's" I could be doing right now and how depressing things could be, I spend time doing the things I love. It changes my personality and outlook on life. I'm happy! If I sat around and moped, I might see myself as a sick teenager with nothing to do. Because I do the things I love, I see myself as a happy teenager that has lots of things to do that make me happy.

 

The key to finding your identity, that I've noticed, is this:

• Realizing that you are a child of God with the potential to be like Him someday
• Realizing that mistakes and trials don't define who you are, they refine you
• Doing the things you love will change your personality and outlook and how you see yourself

 

 

Thanks for reading. Keep running!

What Puts the Ape in Apricot?

If you're feeling troubled, especially if things aren't seeming to work out, read this. And PS. I'm super excited that CEDAR CITY IS GETTING A TEMPLE!! It's amazing to see the Lord's work hastening and the gospel spreading.

 

 

I'll fill ya in on a little secret. Sometimes I'm angry. Angry that I can only walk a half mile before my leg starts hurting. Angry that I wake up with a sore neck every morning. Angry that it takes twice as long to eat.

 

And then I get sad. Sad that I have to go through a trial that I NEVER thought I would. Sad that while everyone and their dog my age is getting ready and leaving for missions, I'm still here. And I'll still be here for at least a year. Sad that I could be out in the mission field right now if this didn't happen again.

 

But then I remember how blessed I really am. A family who loves me. A church that I can rely on. A testimony that strengthens me. A Savior who felt every pain I have and who never leaves me.

 

And I remember that no matter what happens, one of the most important things in time of trouble to remember is this:

 

 

Courage. I mean, come on, it puts the "ape" in apricot.

And on a more serious note, watch this next video.

 



 

"Being brave doesn't mean that I'm not afraid."

"Brave is just acting in faith."

 

(if you want to read Esther's story, found in the Old Testament, click here)

 

I cannot explain just how perfect that video says the things I've learned over the last few years. Courage is a hard thing, but it's relying on the Lord with faith. The Lord has a plan for me. It's not even close to anything I imagined four years ago. But it's blessed my life. Even though I've suffered and felt pain, it's been worth it because of the growth I have received.

 

For example, I noticed yesterday, that for the first time in my entire life, I look forward to reading the Book of Mormon. For the longest time, I looked at it as a chore. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I just read it because I was supposed. Not really because I wanted to. I'm currently in the middle of Alma, and I can tell you that I really do enjoy reading. It's been a great blessing in my life.

 

Here are a few different aspects of courage I have noticed:

• The courage to stand strong. You know those CDs you get at the end of EFY? Well my last year, the theme was "Courage to Stand Strong" with the first song on that CD of the same title. Three years later, I still listen to that CD quite frequently. Because it reminds me that in every situation we are told to stand strong. Stand for our beliefs, stand against the adversary, and most importantly, "to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9, link here). If you want to listen to that song, click here.
• The courage to ask for help. It's amazing how fast this prayer was answered. Yesterday, as I just thought about life and where I wanted to be, I was really discouraged. I pray before I read my scriptures that I may be led to read what I need to read. And here came my answer. "O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions which shall come upon me" (Alma 31:31, link here). Heavenly Father loves us with all his heart. It is through his son, our Savior Jesus Christ, that we can truly feel happiness and I tell you that this is true.
• The courage to "be not afraid." "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest" (Joshua 1:9, once again, the link is here). Yes, I'm afraid, but I am guided by the Lord and when I have the right perspective, that fear vanishes. As I said who knows how many times, I've learned this and am still learning. The Lord has a plan for me. It may not be what I want, but it will ultimately be a blessing. And He will never leave me. I might feel forsaken at times, but really, He is here in my life now more than ever.

I'm sorry this is getting so long winded. But I really am glad that I have courage in my life. It's helped me through trials. Have courage and faith, and you'll never be forgotten! Keep running.

Conference Weekend

I wish I would've written this earlier in the week, but either way, here it is. This weekend is one that a lot of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints look forward to for a long time, and it only happens twice a year. It's General Conference!

General Conference is basically when all of the members of the church meet up. The First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve, the Quorums of the Seventy, and all of the Auxiliary General Presidencies broadcast five two-hour sessions from Salt Lake City, Utah. It's a time when we get to hear from all of the "General Authorities."

For those of you interested in watching that have never seen it before, it consists of five sessions. The general sessions are: Saturday Morning, 10 am to 12 pm; Saturday Afternoon, 2 pm to 4 pm; Sunday Morning, 10 am to 12 pm; and Sunday afternoon, 2 to 4 pm. There is the Priesthood Session for all men on Saturday night from 6 pm to 8 pm. In Utah, it can be viewed on KSL. Outside of Utah, I'm not quite sure, so check with your local listings; but you can check for an LDS chapel in your area by going to LDS.org

We are told that if you have a question, any question, and write it down, pray faithfully and have faith, then you can receive your answer during Conference weekend. Take up this offer. I stumbled across this website yesterday and it had some really good advice on preparing for Conference as well as note taking during the sessions. Click here for the site.

I really look forward to this conference because it's a time that we can really receive answers to our prayers, revelation for ourselves, and scripture from our current leaders.

I know that these men really are called of God and that what they say is what the Lord wants us to hear. "...whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same" (D&C 1:38). Because our Savior Jesus Christ is not physically on the earth today, He has called a prophet and apostles to relay His messages to us. I invite you to watch General Conference and to hear from these men of God. Enjoy the weekend and keep running!

The Right Place at the Right Time

Well, I had a surgery this last Thursday, and it went really good! The bone surrounding the spacer grew in more than expected, so not as much bone as expected was needed to fill in the gap. So instead of taking bone from my hip, which would've hurt REALLY bad recovering, some bone was taken from a cadaver. More blessings!

Also, this is a picture of an X-ray of my jaw/neck area from back in December.  That "bike chain" is what's helping hold my jaw together, and that tube you can see is the feeding tube- which I no longer have, thank goodness.

Let me set the scene for you. On Thursday up at the Huntsman, I was back in surgery, and my parents had decided to go from the waiting room to get some food up at the café. As they were sitting on some chairs kind of by the elevator, they were surprised to see none other than Jon Huntsman, Sr.! (That's THE "Huntsman" of the "Huntsman Cancer Institute") He was surrounded by about nine or ten people, and it looked like he was about to do a photoshoot or interview or something. My parents talked to him for a minute, and they said that he was really sincere. He asked, "Now who are you guys here for?" and they talked about me and my situation a little bit. He wished us all the best with everything.

The next day, Friday, my mom and I were just kickin' back in the room. My dad had gone up to the café to get some breakfast, and on his way back, he saw one of my previous nurses, McKell (sp?), who had become a really good friend. She said, "Whoa, I didn't know you guys were here!" My dad said, "Yeah, we're just in a room on the 5th floor, Erik had a surgery yesterday." And then she said, "Well, can I come visit?" She came to visit me and it was really great to see her again! (When I was in the hospital in December, she was my nurse for a few nights, and she was always just really sweet. Skullcandy had donated a bunch of headphones to HCI and she talked to some of the "higher up" people at the Hunstman and was able to get some for me. I thought it was a really nice gesture/surprise!)

I bring up these two stories because I honestly believe that most of the time, running into someone is not a coincidence. I don't know why Jon Huntsman, Sr. was really there that day or why my surgery was at the time it was. And I don't know why there was suddenly an opening in surgeries for this last surgery. I don't know why my parents decided at that time to go to the café- probably because they were hungry, right?  But I do know that we were all in "the right place at the right time." I know that meeting and talking to Jon Huntsman really gave my parents comfort, and that running into McKell reminded me that I have people supporting me, even at the Hunstman. :) If that opening didn't come up, we wouldn't have been up at the Huntsman at that time, my parents would've never ran into Jon Huntsman, Sr., and we might not have seen McKell.

It's really just amazing to me how the Lord's plan works for each one of us and that our paths may collide, benefitting us both. You know, for the most part, I'm really grateful for all the people I run into and how they really can bless my life.

All I can really do is hope and pray that I can be guided to where I need to be. Because like a patriarchal blessing, the great things we are promised can only happen if we live righteously. And that's the ultimate goal, right? Receiving the blessings of our sacred covenants? I want to live righteously so I can be guided to be in the right place at the right time, so that I can be an answer to a prayer or a blessing in someone else's life or they can do the same for me.

Keep running!