Erik Gray's journals
#journalgems
Written by JoLene (Erik's mom) in 2017:
As routine tests are necessary, a CT scan in
July and confirmed a few months later showed that there was yet another
reoccurrence of cancer. This time in his
jaw bone. Chemo and radiation were not
options. It required an extensive
surgery… one that would take 10 – 14 hours.
When two teams of doctors explained what the problem was and what the
solution could be… one of Erik’s doctors asked him if he wanted to do
this. Erik’s reply was, “well, I want to
live longer”.
This is what he (Erik, in Dec 2013) writes about this experience:
"I am STILL in awe at the
enormity of it. I had no IDEA this surgery was even possible. Did you? I mean,
seriously! How did anyone ever think it was even possible to take out a portion
of the fibula, not replace it with anything, put the fibula in place of part of
the jawbone, and still have me look normal, talk normal, walk normal, and even
run normal?
Sometimes
when I think back to everything that happened a year ago, I just want to curl
up into a ball. It was hard. Not being able to eat or drinking
anything through my mouth for a week on top of a dry mouth, limited neck
movement, a feeding tube, that (grrr) nurse that suctioned out my trach, the
trach ITSELF (grrr...), the constant nurse visits, the infection that caused
another hospital stay, having an anaphylactic allergic reaction, withdrawing
from Spring semester, quitting my job, not being able to lay on my stomach to
sleep, and learning how to move my tongue again.
Although it
makes me devastated to think about what I've been through, I turn and think of
everything good about that surgery and the last year. I spent more time with my
parents, had an awesome nurse, stayed at one the best cancer facilities in the
world, was in the hands of amazing doctors and staff that I would (and obviously
did) trust my life with, gaining a strong testimony of my Savior, Heavenly
Father's plan, and the Atonement, celebrating my birthday by eating Winger's...
and not in a hospital, taking some time off of school and work, finding out
what I want to be when I "grow up", realizing my plan in Heavenly
Father's book, getting my patriarchal blessing, having my friends surprise me
on my birthday, sharing the gospel, sharing my testimony, improving my life,
and getting one step closer to getting rid of this stupid cancer for good."
