Here's to the Last

Tomorrow, April 24th is a pretty important day. Firstly, it's Nala Hall's birthday (happy birthday!). Secondly, it's a pretty substantial day in my road to recovery.

(This might be old news to some of you, so brace yourselves)

In December 2012, 16 months ago, I underwent a tremendous surgery after receiving news that my cancer had come back. This time, it was in my jaw. Using my fibula, they replaced half of my lower jaw. Yeah. It's a medical miracle all in itself. Crazy, right? Because they replaced the jaw, all but four of my lower teeth were removed. And I've been without them for the last 16 months.

It's not as hard as you might think. It is hard, but I'm so used to eating on my left side and talking that some people don't even know I have teeth missing, another miracle all in itself.

As time has gone on, we have talked with doctors about dental implants, because who wants to be without almost half of all their teeth for the rest of their lives? Certainly not me.

We've been blessed beyond compare with having access to such an awesome facility like the Huntsman Cancer Institute so close. We found a doctor in Salt Lake as well who specializes in dental implants and dental reconstruction. Last summer, we went to him for a consult. Throughout the process, I was bumped down to three bottom teeth left. Here's the just of how it all went down:

August 2014: First procedure to drill the bases into my bone. These are what the implants screw into.

December: Cut down tissue.

January 2014: Cut down tissue again, put in the caps so the tissue will heal around it (if you have looked in my mouth recently and seen all the metal pieces, this is what those are).

Feb/March-ish: Fitted and impressions of my teeth and bite made for the "bridge", the base that the teeth are put on.

March: Two weeks later, the bridge had come back from being made. We tried it in. It fit. After this appointment they started work on putting the actual teeth on.

Which brings us to tomorrow. The implant is ready to go. And I am so SERIOUSLY freaking excited. Basically, it's like Christmas.

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As per tradition, we have sort of a "last supper", so to speak, the night before a surgery or procedure. It's been places like Red Robin, In-N-Out, whatever sounds good. Tonight's plan, Red Robin.

The best thing about tonight's "last supper" is that it's the LAST one. No more surgeries or procedures planned for my neck or teeth (knock on wood).

It's amazing finally being at the end of the tunnel of this trial (once again, knocking on wood here). I have seen a lot of answers to questions I've had. I'm a completely different person from even 6 months ago. I see in myself true happiness. I am finally, finally at peace with how things have played out the last few years and why I'm in the place I'm at. I love the end of the tunnel.

So here's to the last. 

Keep running.

Nine Surgeries Later

In my photography class, one of our assignments was a self-portrait. And this is the idea I came up with, I think it's pretty applicable to the contents of my blog:

"Although the focal point of this picture is my neck, the key point is my smile. This photograph is a big, bold step for me ... although it is bold, it is effective; this image is important to me because it reveals more than just my imperfections, but also my character. Throughout the nine surgeries I have had on my neck, including the reconstruction of one half of my jaw, I have seen a lot of damage and scars on my body. But through it all, I have kept a smile on my face. Life is hard, but I choose to be optimistic." 

(excerpt from my artist statement)

Keep running!

Dental Implants Phase Five & Some Other Updates

We made our way up to Dr. Egbert's last Wednesday. The metal piece has come back finished.

(hey look, that's my name! :D )

About a month ago, the doctors made the impression of my other teeth, of where the posts

were, and of where the metal piece needed to be put.

All we did this appointment was try the metal piece in. And you know what? It felt weird feeling something inside that side of my mouth again. I have been with all of 4 of my bottom teeth missing for 16 months, plus another they removed for the implants last August.

When they screwed in the metal part, I felt like I was in my own superhero movie. With just the metal in, I felt like it was an upgrade into me becoming some type of titanium werewolf. (My college friends, I hope you laughed at that part-- werewolf, see what I did there?)

Now that I tried it in, and it fits, the next step is for making it look good. They put the actual teeth on (well, I guess not actual teeth). But do you want to hear the BEST NEWS? I have a date. A date to get my teeth PUT IN. In my mouth.

I WILL HAVE A FULL SMILE AGAIN. And if you can't tell how excited I am, give me a call and I will fill ya in. Countdown to April 24th begins now. #23days

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Some part of me still does not know why I have had to go through this, why I am still around Cedar, why I'm here and not in the mission field. But I have had a few answers. When I first was getting ready to move out, I thought, Man, I'm going to make so many new friends. Just ready to embrace the whole college experience, you know? But last semester was hard. I loved church, I loved school, but I just felt alone.

Throughout the last few months, I've been struggling. But I went to church. I went to FHE. I went to ward prayer. I kept doing the things I know I was supposed to be doing and where I was supposed to be. And fast forward now, April, I have seen some of my prayers answered. I have made friends with some outstanding people. If I had not been going to church, ward prayer, or FHE, I would not have started hanging out with them.

My life is incredibly blessed. I've said many times that I am not where I thought I would be right now. BUT I am finally, finally happy with it. I know without a doubt that I am where I am for a reason. For a few reasons.

Life is good. Seriously.

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I joined one of those Facebook bandwagons. It's a challenge called "100 Happy Days." (website is here) The challenge entails just what the title says. Choosing a platform such as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, post a picture or status EVERY DAY for 100 days. It can be something you're grateful for, someone you went to lunch with, just about anything.

"It is not a happiness competition or a showing off contest. If you try to please/make others jealous via your pictures - you lose without even starting. Same goes for cheating." (100happydays.com)

I've enjoyed it so far. It's given me a chance to appreciate even the little things I am grateful for (and also a chance to improve my photography!). I have noticed that even in just eight days, I've seen a change in me already. Sometimes I've thought, Huh, what can I post today? And I look for those moments. Just the last few days I've thought, Hey, I want to do that! Well, I've had to do that tomorrow. Or Wednesday. And basically I have the next five days lined out... but I'm loving it.

Here are some of the pictures I've done so far. I'm not posting them here to boast or anything because, like that quote says, I would have already lost. I'm showing because I'm telling you because I want to show you just a few tidbits of what I'm grateful for...

And with that, keep running.