Battling That "What If..."

Real quick- another good blog. Found it on Twitter. This lady has been through a traumatic head injury and she is inspiring! It's called Jamie Hilton: Miracles... Believe in Them.

Sometimes I get caught up in the thinking of "What if...?"
What if I fall off the deck and break my leg?
What if I have one of those dreams where I go to school in my underwear but it's not a dream?
What if I get in a car crash?
What if I wasn't as close to my family?
What if I never had cancer?
What if I am not healed?

Buddha said, "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles..." and I agree with that. I think the hardest battles we will face are in our minds. And "What if" is one of them. It's really kinda scary being caught up in all that. Not only because it lets your imagination run free, either for the good or the bad, but it can also really hurt you. We've all heard that if a cancer patient thinks he/she will be healed, then he/she probably will be! Positive attitude, folks! (link to a previous post about positive attitude)

I don't mean that you shouldn't imagine, for example, being a millionaire or being famous in the future. Those are dreams and hopes. What I am saying is don't hurt yourself by thinking what would happen if some event did/didn't happen or things played out differently, especially when adversity or trials come or tragedy strikes.

When bad things happen, replace "What if" with "Now that this happened, I'm going to..."

For example: Instead of me thinking "What if I never had cancer? Where would I be?" I think "Okay. I have cancer. But how can I overcome it, how will it bless me, and how can it bless others?"

Well, I'll tell you. Since I have had cancer, I have realized who my true friends are. I have learned how much I can go through and that I can do hard things. I have become closer to my family. My life is more precious to me. One of the most important to me: I have strengthened my testimony and come closer to my Savior as I prepare to one day meet Him again.

Probably the most important thing to remember about the "What if" situation. It is found in Matthew 19:26-- "...with God all things are possible." I have been told by the doctors that with my fibula removed, I might not be able to run a marathon, maybe not even a half marathon. But instead of thinking, "What if they're right? What if I really can't run that?" I think "If I try my hardest and have faith in God and that He will help me, I can do it." And I know I can!

Until next time, keep running!

(If you haven't caught on, the reason that the background for this site is runners is because running is something I really love, and always have loved it. I ran a half marathon last September (more on that later) and ran cross country in high school. Running again is probably one of my biggest goals.)

Over the Last Month or Two...

First of all, check out this girl's website called Ashtyn's Army. My mom stumbled upon it through Facebook (I think) and said I should look at it! She is 12 years old and is battling leukemia. What a fighter! The posts are full on inspiration and I honestly think I am a better person for reading it!

Second, Today is kind of (and I use the term "kind of" loosely) a break from the "serious" stuff-  and this is why:

 

1. I'm kinda tired and I can't think

2. I think it's time to update you on how I'm doing and feeling

and 3. I love stuff that makes me laugh, and that's what some of this post will be!

 

UPDATE: As you might remember from reading my first couple of posts, I am battling round 3 of cancer right now. The first in early 2010, second in 2012, and now the third. In December, just three months ago, I had a 13 1/2 hour surgery to remove cancer and the cancer infected bone in my chin. The doctors took out my fibula- the tiny bone in my left leg- and put it in place of the infected bone. I had another surgery in January to remove just a little more bone, and they put in a spacer so that if there was more cancer to take out, it could easily be removed. Thankfully, there was no sign of cancer in the bone, and I am looking at one more surgery this month to replace the spacer with a little bit of bone from my hip. Gee, isn't it amazing what they can do with health care these days?

 

I'm honestly feeling really great. Here are just some of the things I've done to keep busy.

 

 

Netflix. Lots and lots of netflix. (Malcolm in the Middle is my new show)

 

(If you can read it, this picture is a bunch of words that describe me)

 

 Photoshop. (Credit to Jessica Savage for the one above. I got the idea from one of her pictures.)

 

 

Facebook. It's addicting, but I've gotten better!

 

 

Helping with the wedding.

 

 

This blog! Hope you are enjoying it.

 

I basically don't do to much. I just am recovering. It's really nice, because I'm so used to being real busy, but it's weird to have nothing to do.

 

 SWITCHING GEARS: I was on some antibiotics with the two hospital stays in December and one in January. Because of that, I've had some pretty awesome, funny, and whacky dreams. I want to share just a few of them with you:

• I was sitting in church on the bench, right next to the aisle. Just a normal Sunday. President Monson comes in to the chapel. Of course, everyone is standing out of respect, and as he is walking toward the front stand, he stops right at my row, looks me in the eye, and says, "Erik, how are you doing, really?" Coolest. Dream. Ever.
• I met the Queen of England. I don't remember really any details, but I think it was the same night as my Pres. Monson dream.
• Now this one is the best one (besides the Pres. Monson one): I was in the Winter Olympics and I was competing in skiing. The course we were about to ski was my driveway. For those of you that know where I live- this dream is probably a bit more realistic. Anyway, I was competing against some of the top skiiers in the world! The buzzer to start the race went off. I was the only one who heard it, so I was half way down the hill when the others realized the race had started. Won that heat. 1st place!! And I got 4th overall.

I really wish I would've written down the dreams I had right after I woke up! This is all I can remember off the top of my head. But my mom is a witness, I would come into the kitchen and say, "Man, I had the craziest dream last night!" And this happened quite a few times. :)

 

 

To end, PLEASE watch this video. It's just downright hilarious.
 

 

 

Until next time, keep running!

What's Most Important?

I was really thinking about what I could write about today. I went onto the Mormon Channel app on my iPod, and saw what one of the videos was called "What Matters Most," and loved that topic idea. So, here we are!

In my life, I've always been taught to cherish what's most important. Over the last few years especially, going through my illness, I've really thought about what is most important. Here's what I think is most important in my life:

 

1. My faith in Jesus Christ and His atonement along with my testimony of the gospel. I am so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It has helped me through everything. I love that with the atonement, Jesus Christ didn't pay for just our sins. He suffered for every feeling of pain, hurt, and sadness. I know that no matter what I go through, I will never, ever be alone.

 

 

 

2. My family. From L to R: Chris, Allie, me, my mom, my dad, Justin, Hayden, Ashley, Tim, Camden, and Brooke. I have the best family ever. I know everyone says that, and it's probably true. I believe we were all placed in the families we are in for a reason. :) There is NO way I could make it through life and it's challenges without them. I'm so glad that we can be together forever.

 

 

3. My friends. Friends are like my second family. I love spending time with all of them and I appreciate everything they do for me, just like my family. It's always been a good time, I've never come home and thought, That was boring. I'm excited to tell my future kids all the stories of crazy times with all these guys!

 

 

4. My health. This is one of my senior pictures- I'm in my Student Government uniform. I chose this picture because amidst all of my health trials over the years, I was still able to continue on with life and do the things I love. I know that my body isn't going to ever be perfect, but I'm grateful that I can still walk, run, breath, smile, eat, and live life as normally as possible.

 

 

5. Life. It's great to just reach out your hands like in this picture and proclaim, "I'm alive!" It really is! I think it's really important to live your life fully, taking in as much as you can- the beauty, wonder, and amazement of the world. I went to a friend's farewell yesterday, and she quoted Marjorie Pay Hinckley, "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow what a ride!'" Well said.

 

 

It's real easy to get caught up in those not-so-important worldly things: TV, Netflix, the computer, Facebook, Twitter. I'm not going to lie, I spend a lot of time using worldly things. And yes, to show you that I "practice what I preach," I've decided that I'm going to cut back on my Facebook use. Instead of checking it multiple times a day, I'll only check it about once a week. And the only thing you'll see posted from me are these updates that show a new blog post. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

So figure out, right now, what is most important in your life. Write it down, stick in somewhere, in your scriptures, on your wall. And don't forget. Cherish what you have, and look for what you can improve on.

 

As always, if you've made it this far, thanks. :) Besides using this blog to put in my journal, it would just be a huge waste of time if no one read it. So thanks. And until next time, keep running!